08.23.2024
I have often thought about the other things I could have done in my life that would lead to a similarly fufiling existence if I was not so devoted to the path that I had chose. In a different time in a different place I think I could have done so many little things. I want to take a minute here just to elaborate on a few options that I often come back to and explain the thought process behind it, because I like to think about this sort of stuff.
The one I always come back to is contingent on one thing; me not being gay. If I weren't gay I would have loved being a monk. l-o-v-e-d it. Being a monk is not that easy but it is, I believe, rewarding. I would love to garden and read classics and pray in silence all day, to go out and help people - it seems like a nice existence to me and if the Catholic Church was not the Catholic Church I might have still gone down that path in my own timeline. The throughline in all of these scenarios are all little things, little jobs that offer no promise of great riches or renown or reward, but jobs that ought to be done and are worth doing nonetheless.
The other one and maybe the central point of this blogpost is that of the owner of a small rural establishment. Be it a bar as in the picture directly above, or maybe a convenience store in the first image. I little bait and tackle shop with some food options and basic groceries. I would love that. To play some small role like that in society, as the guy you go to for a scratch-off or for some cup-noodles in a hard time. I would get to decide what to stock, how to set up the coke machine, when to decorate for christmas and how I could jack the prices down. I would like it a lot. I feel like I would like the environment, the people, the everything a lot.
Another is like a bar maybe a restaurant or diner. Serving food and drinks to people in my little corner of the county. I've always liked the idea of setting up a diner or bar almost at a loss to give some people somewhere good cheap food, though I know now that I will never have the kind of capital to establish just such a buisness. Still a half-bar-half-diner kind of place appeals to me. I think operating a place like those could be really nice, and maybe I'm just looking for some sense of community but if I hadnt already devoted my life to my current path, I would want to end up there. Something about that subtle existence just calls to me and I would like to have that sort of purpose.
Anyway thats just a fun fantasy for me, a nice life working at my quaint little establishment or in perfect solace in a priory. I'm very devoted to being a schoolteacher now, so all of that is really out of the picture despite it being a frankly attainable goal. I wish I had a comment section to ask if anyone out there ever had similar ideas but thats really difficult to try and code, so if you have any experience of your own, tweet at me or something.
Dont forget to bookmark so you dont lose me, thanks for reading! Stay golden.